And The Winner Is…

Have you ever been in a fight with your spouse and you’re walking with a little bit of a swagger because you think you won that round?

What normally happens a few hours after that?

There’s an apology from one or both of you because you soon realize that winning a fight isn’t really winning a fight, is it? Winning a fight with your spouse, a fight that may end up hurting the other person, isn’t a win at all.

Mom Deserve, But So Do Dads

This was a post I held off writing for a long time.

It wasn’t because I didn’t have enough to say on the subject, it was mainly because I was sure that a lot of people would take this out of context and writing for me was never about ruffling anyone’s feathers or making anyone mad.

Writing for me has always been about what was in my heart and what I believed to be true. I don’t ever write anything just because it’s what people want to hear. We can disagree on just about anything as long as we’re able to have a conversation about it.

When it comes to being a dad, I’m grateful to my wife who has always encouraged me and tells me all the time how good of a husband I am to her and how good of a father I am to the our two kids.

I don’t say that to toot my own horn or to brush a little off the shoulder as a ‘look at me’ kind of thing, I do that to say there are plenty of dads who make a huge effort for their spouse and kids every day and they don’t get that kind of encouragement.

Who’s First, Who’s Not

I saw someone share an article on Facebook earlier today and I thought I’d give my response to it, mostly because the people commenting made me laugh and not for a good reason. Someone writes an article, gives their opinion, and all of a sudden they are the worst person in the world (just ask my buddy Shan Shariff).

If you want to read the article I’m referencing, you can find it here.

The article is written by a wife who talks about why her husband will always come before their children. Here are a few excerpts from this piece.

“The first year of our son’s life was the most difficult of our marriage to date and it is also the year I learned a very important lesson: My husband must always come before our children.”

First off, notice that she never said the words “my children aren’t important,” or “my children will receive far less attention than my husband.” She’s not trying to lessen the role of the wife and mother role in the home, she’s not trying to take us back to the 1950’s, but the amount of pissed off women in the comment section sure makes it seem that way.

Let me ask a simple question before I move on to another quote from this article. If this piece was written by a man instead of a woman and he talked about why his wife would always be more important than the kids, would we have as many pissed off comments? Or would people be nodding their heads like that’s the way it should be because it’s not the woman bowing to the man or [insert gasp here] making her husband important in the role of the home or in the role of a wife?

It’s just a question, answer it honestly. I don’t mind a debate here so don’t assume I’m trying to say something by asking a question. Should the husband make the wife more important than the kids but the wife shouldn’t do the same? Just trying to clarify.

Time to Unpack

When I walked into the conference center in Waxahachie, Texas this past Friday afternoon, the only thing I could do was watch and wait. Whatever happened over the next two and a half days would have nothing to do with me, but more to do with the willingness, or unwillingness, of the couples who were making the commitment to be there.

This is never an easy thing to do. It’s never easy to, first of all, admit that your marriage isn’t perfect, second of all, to put a weekend aside, and third, to make the financial commitment to what this weekend entails.

But, even more than that, it takes a lot for each couple to admit that they really need to work on their marriage and that this weekend might be the change they need. For some, it’s a last ditch effort before they make the most drastic, and possibly most life changing, decision they’ll ever make.

Pursue Your Husband

Ok ladies, I told you that I wasn’t going to let you off the hook and I intend on keeping my word.

While it’s a husband’s job to pursue his wife each and every day, don’t think for a second that your husband doesn’t want to be pursued as well.

I know the battle between women and men is one that will continue for some time, but I don’t want to talk about equality or anything leading to a political battle. You know I’m real and you know I’m going to come with the truth as I know it to be. So, ladies, without further ado, I’m going to tell you what a guy looks for. Ok…everything but THAT.

Pursue Your Wife

Married couples listen up and listen closely. In a marriage, it doesn’t work if just one member of said marriage is doing the pursuing.

Don’t get me wrong, husbands it’s our job to pursue our wives every single day. It’s in the fine print of our wedding vows. You know the ones that aren’t actually said in the vows when you’re standing in front of the pastor as well as family and friends. But the pursuit of your wife is usually implied.

Before I try and preach to the husbands who read this I’ll admit that I haven’t been the greatest at this topic. It’s taken almost three years for me to get at least somewhat good at it and it hasn’t come without some help from other married couples.