And The Winner Is…

Have you ever been in a fight with your spouse and you’re walking with a little bit of a swagger because you think you won that round?

What normally happens a few hours after that?

There’s an apology from one or both of you because you soon realize that winning a fight isn’t really winning a fight, is it? Winning a fight with your spouse, a fight that may end up hurting the other person, isn’t a win at all.

Taking Things to Heart

I work hard to get the respect of certain people. I was taught early on by my late grandfather that people respect hard work if it’s done without complaint. I will admit that I haven’t been good about that last part in certain moments of my life and I know he’d be disappointed in me when those moments occur. But, for the people I look up to, I work hard to gain their respect by doing the one thing he taught me how to do — work hard.

Then there are moments where I think I’ve gotten to that point and I do something that knocks me down a peg. Maybe I didn’t mean to do it or maybe I did it without realizing it, but when the knock down occurs it hits my heart like someone shot an arrow through it. I try to shake it off, I try to forget it, but it stays with me and I rack my brain to think of one thing that I can do to make up for it.

I don’t like disappointing people. In fact, I hate it. I grew up being the child who was disappointed time and time again. The child who was sitting in the front driveway waiting for something that, more times than not, would never come.

Time to Unpack

When I walked into the conference center in Waxahachie, Texas this past Friday afternoon, the only thing I could do was watch and wait. Whatever happened over the next two and a half days would have nothing to do with me, but more to do with the willingness, or unwillingness, of the couples who were making the commitment to be there.

This is never an easy thing to do. It’s never easy to, first of all, admit that your marriage isn’t perfect, second of all, to put a weekend aside, and third, to make the financial commitment to what this weekend entails.

But, even more than that, it takes a lot for each couple to admit that they really need to work on their marriage and that this weekend might be the change they need. For some, it’s a last ditch effort before they make the most drastic, and possibly most life changing, decision they’ll ever make.

Pursue Your Husband

Ok ladies, I told you that I wasn’t going to let you off the hook and I intend on keeping my word.

While it’s a husband’s job to pursue his wife each and every day, don’t think for a second that your husband doesn’t want to be pursued as well.

I know the battle between women and men is one that will continue for some time, but I don’t want to talk about equality or anything leading to a political battle. You know I’m real and you know I’m going to come with the truth as I know it to be. So, ladies, without further ado, I’m going to tell you what a guy looks for. Ok…everything but THAT.

Encounter Marriage Weekend: The Battle Begins

I know most, if not all of you, have never gone through Encounter Marriage Weekend so may not know about the battle that comes before the actual weekend.

The enemy hates marriage. Actually, let me rephrase that. The enemy HATES marriages. There’s a battle that rages the week before couples come out to Waxahachie because the enemy wants to drive that permanent stake between them. The enemy wants to make sure these couples don’t make it there. In fact, I’ll go one step further to say the enemy would rather see these couples split for good than try and put themselves back together.

Think of humpty dumpty. He’s already taken the great fall but hasn’t completely broken. At least not yet.

Encounter Marriage Weekend

I arise early on a Friday morning, waking up my wife who tries to ignore me, struggling to open my eyes and not wanting to get away from the warm confines of our comfortable bed.

Friday’s are normally just another day at the office. But, twice a year, these Friday’s are different. You can already feel the anticipation in the air and the adrenaline begins to flow inside of me. Slowly but surely, a smile creeps across my face. I know what’s coming. This is a weekend I’ve looked forward to for months.

I finally get my wife out of bed, more reluctant to leave our bed than I was, and the only person who’s ever more awake than the both of us is our yellow lab, Ranger. He knows the moment I get up that it’s time to go outside. But, more importantly, it’s time for breakfast.

You see, in just a few short hours from now, myself, my wife, and the best leadership team I’ve ever been around, will welcome a number of married couples who made the drive to Waxahachie for one reason and one reason alone — they want to strengthen their marriage.

Thankful and Nothing But

I could sit here and name off everyone I’m close to and I’ve something to thank them for, I really could. Believe me when I tell you, as I sit here and write this, I’m tempted to do exactly that but I’m so afraid to leave someone out that it’s probably not the best idea.

When I dreamed of writing about sports, I dreamed of being the guy who sat up in the press box. The guy everyone knew, would ask questions of, and the guy they would stop when I was walking around somewhere and say, “hey you’re that guy.”

We all dreamed of being famous when we were growing up, or at least some of us did.

A Change in the Air

From those of you who have stopped by to read what the things I’ve written here I will always appreciate you. But there comes a time when a change is needed, sometimes it’s long overdue.

I’ve had the same title to this blog for quite some time but it took reading some things from another good friend of mine that I realized I wanted to change the title of the blog to something that might be generic, but it would also allow me to share some daily thoughts without some readers wondering why I was going off topic.

Sometimes change is good, right?

There are things in my life that I look back on and wonder why they happened the way they did. While there are lessons to be learned from each one of those moments, the questions still continue to come just like they always have. But then there are those moments where the questions stop coming. It’s not because they aren’t there, it’s because you’re so conflicted at that particular moment you just don’t know what to ask. Where do you start?

One of those moments for me came last night. I won’t talk about the situation or exactly what was going on but what I will tell you is I was hurting for someone else. There’s been a battle inside of me for this situation because I didn’t know what I wanted to do or how I would react. There’s a lot of anger and a lot of bitterness and I wasn’t the one who had battled it for so long. I wasn’t the one who had felt the hurt for so many years and I wasn’t the one who spent so many nights of their lives wondering, “what if.”

As of last night, I also started to wonder, “what if.” What if I made this decision, would I be happy about it? Would there be any sort of forgiveness or would the anger remain?

Last night my heart began to soften because I realized it wasn’t happening to me. This thing hadn’t happened to me for so many years and even though I was angry for someone else, I knew that this wasn’t the time to be upset, this was the time to be understanding of their situation and their questions that have lingered for so long.

What happens next isn’t up to me. While I’m willing to help in any way I can, it needs to be up to them whether or not they take the steps necessary to reach the end point of the journey. It won’t be easy. In fact, it might be the hardest thing they will ever do.

The one question that needs to be answered is this — is it worth it?

Words With Friends

Ok, before you think I’m talking about a certain game that you can play on the IPhone or whatever device has that certain game, I’m actually talking about two different conversations that I had last night.

I’m not going to give names or talk about the conversations that were had because I feel like God asking me to make a point with what the conversations were about. What I mean by that is, you need people in your corner who will have your back in good times and in bad.

Just like in a marriage, you vow for better or for worse. It’s the same with a friendship. You need people who aren’t going to see you any differently during your trials than they see you during your triumphs. God is always there for us just like a Father would be for His child, that much is clear.

I’ll give you an example because I think that might give you a clearer definition of what I’m talking about.

Seeing New Life Begin

By Todd Kaufmann

Delicate…vulnerable…soft…precious…AMAZING

These were words I was using earlier today as I got to be a part of welcoming into the world the first child of one of my close friends. She was 7 pounds of gorgeous.

So small, so soft, so delicate, but yet so absolutely perfect.

The moment I held her there was something that happened inside of me. God was teaching me a lesson. Even the smallest thing and the most sacred of moments, a lesson was being taught.

Never underestimate the power inside you.

When labor began for his wife, she was given an epidural that never kicked in meaning she felt every bit of her daughter making her way into the world. When it was over, the mom said something that has been ringing in my ears even as I sit here and write this.

When asked how she was doing she responded, “I feel like I can do anything.”

She had been through 8 hours and 33 minutes of excrutiating pain. In the end, she received the greatest gift of all. She held her daughter for the very first time. A moment no mother ever forgets. But it also made her realize that she was stronger than she gave herself credit for. The strength she never thought she had God made her realize she absolutely does have it and He proved it in a painful, yet incredible way.

I know one day I’ll be a father. I know I don’t know what my buddy is going through or the feelings that are running through his heart as he stares down at his daughter wrapped tightly in a blanket, but I know when that day comes God will be teaching me even more lessons.

So I held that little girl and I stared into her eyes, God reminded me that no matter how much I feared the day I stare into my own daughter’s eyes, not knowing what to do next, the power and strength inside me comes from Him.

He never gives us more than we can handle.

Lesson learned.